http://www.insightouthealing.com/     Sat, 19 May 2012 19:23:25 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2011/9/32 Proverbs So I am a psychotherapist.  Yeah, that’s right.  And one of the tests we do to see if people are in their right mind is to give them a proverb and ask them what it means. After 20 years of doing this I have come to see that it is the proverbs that are bizarre, not the people. Sun, 25 Sep 2011 17:02:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2011/9/32 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2011/4/31 This morning in my local paper I saw yet another opinion piece (http://www.oregonlive.com/health/index.ssf/2011/04/colin_hoobler_impact_of_obesit.html) about childhood obesity basically blaming parents and accusing the American public of not taking the issue seriously enough. It was written by a local physical therapist.  Having had enough of this tired old and impotent narrative I wrote the response below. I hope you find it helpful.    Hi Colin, I caught your column today in t... Wed, 13 Apr 2011 17:52:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2011/4/31 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/12/30 The new TSA screening procedure of airflights across the United States have caused a great deal of controversy, action and reaction, and rightly so. Amidst the discourse, there has been very little science and rational thought given to the negative effects of instituting such an invasive policy.  Here are my thoughts as a psychotherapist, crisis intervention specialist, anger management consultant and traveler. 1) Approximately ¼ of the US population has been subjected to some kind of sexual ... Thu, 02 Dec 2010 00:41:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/12/30 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/11/29 I'd like to introduce you to a remarkable wisdom teacher, the Native American Shaman and Wisdom teacher Keisha, known as "little grandmother". Tue, 16 Nov 2010 03:44:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/11/29 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/10/28 This past weekend I attended an international trauma and dissociation conference.  One of the research groups staffed by young psychologists in training presented their findings that people who remembered their abuse from childhood were less likely to be assaulted in adulthood.  This seemed to me to be stating (and researching) the obvious.  Then the shocker came. The researchers stated how this finding was “counterintuitive” and not what they had predicted. Sound of needle bei... Wed, 20 Oct 2010 15:35:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/10/28 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/9/27 People often substitute “I should” for “I want”.  I call this the beginning of internal civil war.  The minute you say “I should” you have created division within your self.  “I should” always comes from others; parents, rules, religious teachings, and cultural norms give us our shoulds.  Not that this is necessarily bad.  We do need to learn how to function in society in a helpful way.  At some point along the road to adulthood... Mon, 13 Sep 2010 17:10:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/9/27 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/9/26 For two weeks or so my kids have been bemoaning the end of summer and complaining about the stress of school, even to the point of tears.  My husband and I have been scratching our heads because we were both school geeks.  We couldn’t wait for the weather to turn, to find out what we would be learning next and to get our “bouquets of newly sharpened pencils” as Nora Ephron wittily put it in the classic film You’ve Got Mail. So what’s different for them, we wonder? ... Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:12:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/9/26 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/8/25 For ten years Byron Katie battled suicidal depression, rage and paranoia. One day, lying on the floor of a half-way house for eating disorders, as a cockroach crawled on her foot, she woke up into a profoundly shifted identity. Her previous sense of self fell away leaving only delight in her existence. She realized that all the pain she had suffered, all the depression had one source.  From that day on, she went into a profound state of peacefulness and joy. Her family was astonished at the change.&n... Tue, 10 Aug 2010 22:46:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/8/25 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/7/24 I had the great pleasure of viewing the film, Inception, on opening night.  This film poses important questions about the nature of reality and its relationship to consciousness.  In ordinary life, we separate our layers of consciousness into three discreet layers:  waking, dreaming, deep sleep.  Most people give little thought to their dream and deep sleep states unless they are problematic. But what if our view of reality is simplistic and skewed?  Quantum physics tells us that... Mon, 19 Jul 2010 18:20:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/7/24 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/6/23 New clients either want to tell me everything or tell me nothing about their traumatic past.  Neither option works well.  The very latest studies show that talking about what caused your traumatic stress benefits you in a number of ways as long as you don’t become overwhelmed or flooded with emotion you can’t handle. But first, let’s talk about why people don’t disclose, and there is a very large number of people who never tell their story.  If you understand why yo... Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:19:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/6/23 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/6/22 Today an interview with BP CEO Tony Hayward caught my eye, where he said, on camera no less, “ I'm sorry. We're sorry for the massive disruption it's caused their lives. There's no one who wants this over more than I do. I'd like my life back.” Diagnostically speaking, this highly pathological statement reflects the attitude of someone with Narcisstic Personality Disorder.  Now, I have never met Tony Hayward nor sat down with him for an interview, so, of course, I cannot diagnose him.&nb... Tue, 01 Jun 2010 21:17:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/6/22 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/5/21 This mother’s day finds me on the brink of the big 5-0.  My twin girls are in the 7th grade: one is 13 going on 30 (some days 60), and the other is a wise 13 going on, well, 13. They are wonderful people to parent and to hang out with.  They enjoy our company too.  Recently they were given the chance to opt out of having my husband (their father) chaperone on a field trip. Unlike many of their other classmates they eagerly welcomed him along.  They often greet us at school with a... Mon, 10 May 2010 21:00:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/5/21 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/20 I have been preparing for my upcoming all day talk this week on holistic healing from trauma.  My task is to get traditionally trained social workers out of their heads and into their bodies on the topic of trauma. Many of us psychotherapists were trained to be analytic and “neutral” in response to our patients (or clients).  We were taught to be suspect of patient’s stories, always on guard for emerging pathologies. The issue of client safety was rarely touched upon if ever.&... Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:20:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/20 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/19 Recently I read a couple of books by Rolling Thunder.  John Pope aka Rolling Thunder was something of a celebrity in the 1970’s as a modern medicine man. In fact, the Grateful Dead’s song, Uncle John’s Band referred to him.  He performed many healings for white as well as Native peoples and was one of the early Native Americans to disclose some healing rituals and secrets to select white followers.  One of the things he taught was that the Earth provided an antidote to eve... Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:00:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/19 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/18 Sometimes I wake up with topics on my brain from the writing fairies. Today, along with the sun came this poem.  I hope it makes you happy for it is about you, dear friends.   The Return   The sun shines on Glaciers of time immemorial Compacted snows of countless incarnations Heavy with inertia   Liberated molecules warm Gather, stretch and fall into Pendulous drops of awareness that Glint in the rarefied light Interminable eons lay stunned between teardrops of insight &nbs... Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:53:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/18 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/17 As we watch the level of toxic hate and rage rise around us we may start to feel fearful or even rageful ourselves.  Who, for example, couldn’t feel outraged at the Tea Partiers who were yelling racist and homophobic slurs, or shouting at a man with an incurable disease? Many pundits have been writing editorials, some piling hate on hate, some with a political slant.  As a psychotherapist, I view these events through an internal lens, an analytic lens, if you will.  Let us journey fo... Tue, 06 Apr 2010 17:23:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/4/17 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/16 No opinions or commentary today, just beingness and gratitude.  Hawaii is beyond prose, so here are my poem offerings.  If you are in need of healing and can afford to go to the island paradise for loving restoration, please go.   Benediction   They come with dorsal fins Black, grey, jutting Spinning casually, regularly Breath out, in, hold And under again The rhythm of the waves   If you are blessed They come to you You could never catch them Dancing away in the lan... Mon, 29 Mar 2010 02:19:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/16 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/15 This nearly spring morning, in the cool dawn, under the embrace of our grandmother weeping cherry tree, we buried our beloved sheltie, Loretta.  We sprinkled her beautiful dead body with fresh star magnolias, budding pink azaleas and cherry blossoms before my husband sealed up the grave with soft dirt from our garden.  I remember how her white and gray fur brushed softly and finally against the brown walls of her tomb.  She looked like a puppy curled up waiting to be reborn in her tomb womb... Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:44:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/15 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/14     The other day a woman complimented me and then asked if I was a Christian.  I stood there with my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth.  I didn’t know how to answer her, and I didn’t know what she was asking, really. I was born into a devout Catholic family.  My father left the Benedictine monastery two weeks before his ordination, moved to California and met my mother in a church choir.  We went to church without fail every Sunday throughout my childhood a... Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:31:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/3/14 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/2/13 It seems that the art of the apology has been lost in our current age of pride, machismo and shameless abuses.  To read the newspaper, one would think that nobody makes mistakes anymore.  Nobody needs to apologize for anything in the USA, no matter how egregious the error.  Or maybe there is so much fear around legal action that an apology is seen is making one vulnerable to a lawsuit. Whatever the reason, this refusal to acknowledge wrongdoing reminds me of the two year old who covers his ... Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:02:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/2/13 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/2/11   You probably read this week about the group of Baptists from Idaho who tried to illegally remove 33 Haitian “orphans” from their country.  These people consider themselves religious Christians doing God’s work.  Yet their actions were lacking in empathy, cultural respect, understanding and ethics, never mind that they were against the law.  Now these people are in jail, but unremorseful, high on their belief of their own righteousness. How could this happen? Ameri... Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:42:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/2/11 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/1/10 I have an idea to save money in the military.  Let’s do away with basic training and boot camp.  Let’s take young people who have spent their entire lives following the rules of an orderly society, who have never killed anything bigger than a fly, whose idea of exercise is twiddling their thumbs in front of an x-box, put a gun in their hands and send them overseas.  Young people are resilient and strong.  Surely, they can handle switching their identity from a son or daught... Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:55:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/1/10 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/1/9 Lately my thirteen year-old daughter and I have been talking about insomnia.  She tries to go to bed at the normal bedtime around 10pm, but is often awake until and past midnight.  After limit setting, cajoling, psychoanalyzing and bribing, we have both come to realize there may be something constitutional about her sleep pattern.  After all, I am just the same.  And so is my mother. Having said that, there are still many helpful tips and techniques to help get to sleep more soundly and ... Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:03:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2010/1/9 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/12/8 I have had the privilege of seeing James Cameron’s movie, Avatar, twice now over the holidays. The first time I sat at the end of the movie with tears rolling down my face, not out of sentimentality, but because I had a sense that I had seen a work of art profoundly original, beautiful, true, and one that spoke to me very much as a woman. When I looked at what I thought would be glowing reviews I found that even though an enormous number of reviewers thought the movie was outstanding and gave it a ... Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:15:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/12/8 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/12/7 1) Stay within your budget. Nothing stresses people out more during the holidays than breaking the bank – especially for grumpy Aunt Josephine who doesn’t appreciate what you get her every year anyway. Handmade gifts can work well as long as you don’t spend a fortune on items like cashmere yarn or diamond studded picture frames. Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:37:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/12/7 http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/11/1 "Life is stressful."  These were the first words on the first slide of the first professional training that I ever attended at the League School for autistic children in Boston, Massachusetts.  I was in my early twenties, and I remember feeling stunned, stunned and kind of excited.  It was the first time that I felt someone understood and accepted the pain of living, the first time I didn’t have to put a happy face on.  It’s funny what sticks with you over the years. I have been to countless training in the more than twenty-five years since, yet that one slide is burned into my memory forever.  Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:21:00 GMT http://www.insightouthealing.com/blog/1/2009/11/1